Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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