So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
