the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
