Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
