It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
