AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
