What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
