This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
