the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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