Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.

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  (214): Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public. http://tfl.nu/c7j6
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.

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  (732): I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv. http://tfl.nu/27sr
  Replies (32) Good night (1309) Bad night (4332)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1612) Bad night (4929)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  that makes sense.

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  (850): the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you... (1-850): that makes sense. http://tfl.nu/5jmk
  Replies (16) Good night (7286) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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  (401): We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night. http://tfl.nu/piwb
  Replies (12) Good night (8141) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip

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  (862): Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip http://tfl.nu/drj8
  Replies (15) Good night (2000) Bad night (5947)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.

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  (541): get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear. http://tfl.nu/nwnx
  Replies (20) Good night (3670) Bad night (1510)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.

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  (678): We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k4wd
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash

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  (916): Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash http://tfl.nu/rtwe
  Replies (9) Good night (2267) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1612) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.

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  (805): I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you. http://tfl.nu/4mkg
  Replies (7) Good night (1990) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show

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  (480): You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show http://tfl.nu/lsuc
  Replies (5) Good night (2579) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.

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  (330): shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/iapt
  Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close

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  (312): When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close http://tfl.nu/wkbe
  Replies (12) Good night (1567) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms

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  (586): if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms http://tfl.nu/5has
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (230)

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