it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked