Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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(951): View more from California

Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.

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(509): View more from Washington

I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...

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