Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.