This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?