its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
