so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
