Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
