puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
