Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
