I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
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