I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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