Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
