we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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