Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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