is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
