Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
