Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
