i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there was a trapeze. enough said
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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