It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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