So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
