ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
