He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
