That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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