If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
