I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Life is so much better after having sex.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
