I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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