I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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