This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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