the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
