where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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