I'm eating all of the evidence.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Randomize
