Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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