We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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