Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it

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(719): View more from Colorado

hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(810): View more from Michigan

I wanna throw up and cum in that order

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(512): View more from Texas

Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own

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(530): View more from California

My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans

(530): View more from California

You've been usurped as King of the Gays

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(949): View more from California

We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?

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