Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog

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(732): Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog http://tfl.nu/ui9n

Replies (61) Good night (725) Bad night (3009)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.

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(402): Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth. http://tfl.nu/qs80

Replies (10) Good night (3243) Bad night (908)
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(516): View more from New York

Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.

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(516): Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it. http://tfl.nu/st29

Replies (22) Good night (4087) Bad night (770)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets

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(609): That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets http://tfl.nu/cuwg

Replies (18) Good night (2470) Bad night (849)
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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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(954): Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song. http://tfl.nu/556m

Replies (16) Good night (4145) Bad night (1162)
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(205): View more from Alabama

you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!

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(205): you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!! http://tfl.nu/1wys

Replies (9) Good night (6234) Bad night (1064)
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(718): View more from New York

The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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(718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33

Replies (5) Good night (3464) Bad night (1255)
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(573): View more from Missouri

They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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(573): They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/azqc

Replies (5) Good night (3432) Bad night (684)
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(458): View more from Oregon

I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.

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(458): I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/ja3o

Replies (19) Good night (1118) Bad night (5356)
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(954): View more from Florida

The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

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(954): The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now http://tfl.nu/qowj

Replies (10) Good night (3511) Bad night (750)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

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(859): You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point. http://tfl.nu/cgpy

Replies (11) Good night (1371) Bad night (583)
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(757): View more from Virginia

So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

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(757): So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real. http://tfl.nu/gd5o

Replies (14) Good night (3836) Bad night (777)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.

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(252): A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place. http://tfl.nu/7ilw

Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (364)
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(818): View more from California

Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.

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(818): Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party. http://tfl.nu/8owu

Replies (12) Good night (462) Bad night (1051)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.

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(508): Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming. http://tfl.nu/osws

Replies (0) Good night (295) Bad night (148)

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