I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.