Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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  (937): We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now. http://tfl.nu/61xt
  Replies (32) Good night (3078) Bad night (723)
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  (424): View more from California

  Do u kno any dealers?

  (1-424): View more from California

  I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.

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  (424): Do u kno any dealers? (1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad. http://tfl.nu/eaqw
  Replies (36) Good night (2849) Bad night (7633)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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  (301): I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy. http://tfl.nu/8tq8
  Replies (49) Good night (998) Bad night (5650)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk

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  (307): Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk http://tfl.nu/09b7
  Replies (6) Good night (4282) Bad night (664)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  not a thing

  (613): View more from Ontario

  walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom

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  (613): do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom? (1-613): not a thing (613): walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom http://tfl.nu/euwx
  Replies (19) Good night (995) Bad night (5209)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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  (651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy
  Replies (28) Good night (9121) Bad night (1442)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.

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  (404): He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/t7d5
  Replies (19) Good night (1595) Bad night (5627)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.

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  (503): Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter. http://tfl.nu/kpej
  Replies (15) Good night (5363) Bad night (1187)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?

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  (832): Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday? http://tfl.nu/ynw6
  Replies (16) Good night (4610) Bad night (1517)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room

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  (610): Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room http://tfl.nu/oqu1
  Replies (20) Good night (3646) Bad night (755)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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  (269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0
  Replies (8) Good night (2536) Bad night (792)
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  (714): View more from California

  So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.

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  (714): So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions. http://tfl.nu/jiu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1890) Bad night (505)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.

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  (727): We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED. (1-727): I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information. http://tfl.nu/ag5b
  Replies (5) Good night (896) Bad night (270)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.

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  (218): Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked. http://tfl.nu/0yg0
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (273)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?

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  (269): Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward? http://tfl.nu/adfm
  Replies (7) Good night (859) Bad night (353)

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