woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
