I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
