I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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