i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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