everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Acid is not a monday night drug
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
