you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize