She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
