I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think i have herpe
just one?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
