Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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