grandma shit on top of the toilet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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