In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it's great music for shaving your balls
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
