I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
