Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
