i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize