Dual....:-)
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
