Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
