This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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