You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize