I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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