I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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