Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
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You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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