I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
