i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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