I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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