I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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