she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
