The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
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Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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