i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
