i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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