Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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