addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
