She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
A+ Viking dick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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