I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I smell stomach acid.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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