So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
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he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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